sPecksavers!

The ManWoman was complaining that we have been getting a bit feisty of late.  She can be quite loud and obnoxious at times (TripleA used to wear straw in her ears to dampen down the sound and block out some of her worst stories) but she is normally kind to us and finds it funny when we do things like: poo on the ground that she has just swept, lay eggs in unexpected places, make a run for the house everytime she opens the kitchen door.  But the other day she suddenly FLIPPED OUT completely out of the blue – we had simply been pecking on her toes and clawing her ankle to say ‘Hi’ when she told us we were simply too lairy and needed to tone it down.  She’d been reading the newspaper at the time and was reading about (and considering buying) some of the new-fangled American contact lenses they’re using over there on our American cousins. 

They’re red and they supposedly “chill the bird out.”  Apparently we’ll eat less, produce more eggs and won’t fight.  Now I took offence at this.  I am RETIRED from professional egg production and we produce plenty of eggs (the ManPeople ate OMELETTE for dinner the other night – there is clearly no shortage in their household).  And I like my food so don’t WANT to eat less.  Who doesn’t like pellets with grit in?  Answer: only mad chickens.  They’re TASTY, TASTY.  And I HARDLY EVER fight with Recharge.  I’m not even that aggressive.  I’ve shouted a bit on this blog but usually I am chilled, calm.  Like a cucumber (as chickens said - in the 80’s). So I hope she doesn’t get these stupid new lenses.  I'll refuse to wear them.  I would much rather a pair of glasses or, ideally, a monocle (see below - I hate cats but this one looks so wise with the monocle in).

p.s. She also suggested putting a red bulb in our coop.  Recharge raised her eyebrows at that one.  We might have been cooped up in a battery farm but it’s not like we haven’t LIVED!  We all know what the red light normally means and I can assure you we are not those kind of chicks...